News Flash: There are Pending Bills in Congress

Based on a PCIJ Report, the Filipino tax payers spend One Hundred Forty-Eight Million Pesos (Php148,000,000.00/law) for each law passed. Majority of these laws are about renaming streets, roads, and schools. Of course, the more substantial ones are those which grant naturalization to foreigners because these people cannot afford to go to court. The lawmakers are busy as ever...investigating, inquiring, debating, smiling at cameras, thinking (from time to time), and during lunch breaks their staff find the time to file bills.

The following are the laws which will be approved in the very near future:

1. A law exempting law enforcers and lawmakers from acquiring a driver's license from the LTO

Rationale: These people are already exempt from traffic rules. They can park anywhere, go against the flow of traffic, make a left or right turn where none is allowed, not wear helmet etc. This law will only expand existing policy.

2. A law prohibiting the filing of corruption charges against government officials.

Rationale: Corruption cases exhaust a great portion of the resources of the government. It also entails employment of hundreds of lawyers. But we all know that there is an almost zero conviction rate. There is therefore an obvious need for a law which would save the face of our prosecutors and the Ombudsman.

3. A law requiring private vehicles to travel only between 11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.

Rationale: This law is for the welfare of private commuters. Enough has been said about the supremacy of buses and jeepneys. There are not enough lanes and more than enough shabu for the bus and jeepney drivers. Enough lives have been lost. Period.

4. A law requiring lawmakers to make laws.

Rationale: This has long been pending.